Lost in Thoughts?

The fact is that I am Human the Fiction is when i become Human

The truth of living with ourselves is we become human in our own way either good or bad. Many times I find that being human is harder than i thought being a Christian would be, Being a Christian means to love God and others. Being human is to love yourself and you only. SO the real question lies in this: "Are you being a better christian lately? " or should the real Question be " Are you becoming more human lately?". Yeah, i am becoming more human lately, that's why this topic compels me to write this.

"If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Lk 9:23).

So in this all familiar verse it sums up why I am(we are) confused, confused as to how should i stop being human, I feel that this feeling can never be denied nor explained, somehow God is teaching us to be more like him and encouraging us to do the right things. At this point we can only do two things : Enjoy the hypocrisy or suck it up like a man/woman . I have chosen the 1st choice as i am tired with the second choice. anyone feeling the same? i am reaching with this tiny palm and fingers to my saviour once again under a dark blue sky to the moon up above saying " this could be my halo, when can i come and get it?"(this is definetely not a suicide note, I love my life that i have been given too much). I have pondered and Thought through that how we break out of this chain is to figure out where we belong while stumbling in our darkness for we know that there is light at the end of it. I have fallen but i have not forgotten the warmth in the darkness. Therefore let us embrace the fact that we can never stop falling or failing, in this way we can face the day again.

Contradictions and reasoning stand by each other with a thin line, however love and logic stand against each other, so how now do we comprehend what to keep or what to leave behind? One word solves the question "Yourself". Yes, we only need to keep or leave behind"Yourself". That's what i feel the bible tells me, everyone keeps and leave behind themselves everywhere. I feel that if you have lost then you would have gained, when everything is lost and forgotten, that is the time when we really have gained something. Something irreplacable and Precious. In this way we will be leaving "Yourself" behind and keeping "Yourself" for a new Mission, a Cross that needs to be taken up somewhere else. Somehow we would always be wondering what the new misson would be. If this is not too arrogant a comment, i think the mission would be "Yourself", People says to love others, You need the love yourself first. How true is it then? i think its quite true to build ourselves in what we want to be which makes us less human and more "Yourself".
I am still bulding a "Yourself" for myself, of course in a combination of what is right and wrong after all i am "human". I feel that living for the present is most important not how i have lived in the past nor how i am goin to live in the future. you need to be "Yourself" to be stronger, Stronger for a purpose more significant than any other plans aka PLAN "to enter the kingdom of heaven". I have no doubts I will complete mission "Yourself" at the end of this life as it will turn out perfect no matter the outcome. So if you are wondering why there is no meaning in your living on with this life, as you have lost your former faith,love,life,friends,memories,dreams or hope or maybe u can pick and mix these for more of the agony that you want to self inflict on yourself then maybe mission "Yourself" is waiting for you as you have definetely lost yourself.


As to why i have selfishly repeatedly sayin "Yourself" without god being in it lies in this song:

Hillsong - You are Here (the same power)
The same power that conquered the grave
Lives in me, Lives in me
Your love that rescued the earth
Lives in me, lives in me





So do you have "Yourself" now?

jesus take the wheel

i remembered this song while watching the movie flywheel
the movie is about a man whose life was totally messed up until he put Jesus as Lord of his life.
totally amazed by this song and how its chorus relates to the movie which i was watching.
the chorus goes something like
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

i think each time when things get tough, i will resolve to make Jesus Lord of my life again.. no matter how many times i fall or fail, i will keep putting Him Lord of my life. no matter how many time i sin, He is still Lord of my life.
I will let Him take the wheels and lead me because i know i am weak and cannot go the long journey of life by myself. So Lord Jesus, take the wheel..

struggling christian

i find myself a struggling christian.. trying to live in both the material world and the spiritual world.
i've given up alot on both sides but also held closely on both side as well..
still i find things quite ironic
we want to grow closer to God but we seek the approval of those around us.
we want to be individualistic but also want to be part of a crowd.

sometimes it's hard to know what path to choose or what road to take,
the bible does give some useful guidelines but ultimately it's our choice

fashion, the lastest anime, tv serials, events, all these will pass and be forgotten
even friends, we tend to forget old friends as time pass.. hard to hold on to everything.. we only keep close those who are either dear to us or got some ability that we can tap upon.

we are called to be simple people, called to love but in this increasing complex world, but love has taken on many meanings..
we can say "i love you" or "i love this" or "i love that" but are we really using the word love correctly?
love is NOT about liking something very much, it's really about caring about something/someone and wants its welfare taken care of (taken from 1 cor 13).
love is not about judging.. it's patient, kind and it forgives all the time.
simplicity in this complex world is just difficult, with competition and needs to complete this and that just gets on our nerves. as soon as we complete someething, another thing pops up.. luckily we have God to sustain us

well, this is just another raving from me so i hope u dun mind and if u have any comments just tag it up