Lost in Thoughts?

The fact is that I am Human the Fiction is when i become Human

The truth of living with ourselves is we become human in our own way either good or bad. Many times I find that being human is harder than i thought being a Christian would be, Being a Christian means to love God and others. Being human is to love yourself and you only. SO the real question lies in this: "Are you being a better christian lately? " or should the real Question be " Are you becoming more human lately?". Yeah, i am becoming more human lately, that's why this topic compels me to write this.

"If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Lk 9:23).

So in this all familiar verse it sums up why I am(we are) confused, confused as to how should i stop being human, I feel that this feeling can never be denied nor explained, somehow God is teaching us to be more like him and encouraging us to do the right things. At this point we can only do two things : Enjoy the hypocrisy or suck it up like a man/woman . I have chosen the 1st choice as i am tired with the second choice. anyone feeling the same? i am reaching with this tiny palm and fingers to my saviour once again under a dark blue sky to the moon up above saying " this could be my halo, when can i come and get it?"(this is definetely not a suicide note, I love my life that i have been given too much). I have pondered and Thought through that how we break out of this chain is to figure out where we belong while stumbling in our darkness for we know that there is light at the end of it. I have fallen but i have not forgotten the warmth in the darkness. Therefore let us embrace the fact that we can never stop falling or failing, in this way we can face the day again.

Contradictions and reasoning stand by each other with a thin line, however love and logic stand against each other, so how now do we comprehend what to keep or what to leave behind? One word solves the question "Yourself". Yes, we only need to keep or leave behind"Yourself". That's what i feel the bible tells me, everyone keeps and leave behind themselves everywhere. I feel that if you have lost then you would have gained, when everything is lost and forgotten, that is the time when we really have gained something. Something irreplacable and Precious. In this way we will be leaving "Yourself" behind and keeping "Yourself" for a new Mission, a Cross that needs to be taken up somewhere else. Somehow we would always be wondering what the new misson would be. If this is not too arrogant a comment, i think the mission would be "Yourself", People says to love others, You need the love yourself first. How true is it then? i think its quite true to build ourselves in what we want to be which makes us less human and more "Yourself".
I am still bulding a "Yourself" for myself, of course in a combination of what is right and wrong after all i am "human". I feel that living for the present is most important not how i have lived in the past nor how i am goin to live in the future. you need to be "Yourself" to be stronger, Stronger for a purpose more significant than any other plans aka PLAN "to enter the kingdom of heaven". I have no doubts I will complete mission "Yourself" at the end of this life as it will turn out perfect no matter the outcome. So if you are wondering why there is no meaning in your living on with this life, as you have lost your former faith,love,life,friends,memories,dreams or hope or maybe u can pick and mix these for more of the agony that you want to self inflict on yourself then maybe mission "Yourself" is waiting for you as you have definetely lost yourself.


As to why i have selfishly repeatedly sayin "Yourself" without god being in it lies in this song:

Hillsong - You are Here (the same power)
The same power that conquered the grave
Lives in me, Lives in me
Your love that rescued the earth
Lives in me, lives in me





So do you have "Yourself" now?